A Bittersweet Realization

Today as I was passing through migrations in Uruguay to get on the boat back to Argentina, I realized that today is June 12th...Thirty days until the day I have been dreading for the last five months - July 12th. Why you ask? The very day I will be in Ezieza International Airport boarding a plane to return to Iowa.

Maybe "dreading" isn't the best word choice, but pretty much. Let me explain... Unlike most college students, I'm not dreading living with my parents for 3 weeks. And I am definitely not dreading seeing my family, boyfriend or friends, but that comes with the realization that I don't know when I'll see my Argentine friends and adopted family again (or my study abroad friends for that matter). I can't even begin to explain how sad that makes me.

Many talk about culture shock when going to new countries, but few people know of reverse culture shock. I have never had a problem with culture shock, but reverse culture shock gets me every time. Summer 2007 is still a blur to me.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely have a list of things to do and places to go when I get back, but going from a life in a city of 14 million people to one of 300,000 or 50,000 has no comparison.

I found a good explanation of reverse culture shock from the study abroad student handbook (http://www.studentsabroad.com/reentrycultureshock.html):

Reverse culture shock is usually described in four stages:

- Disengagement
- Initial euphoria
- Irritability and hostility
- Readjustment and adaptation

Stage 1 begins before you leave your host country. You begin thinking about re-entry and making your preparations for your return home. You also begin to realize that it's time to say good-bye to your friends abroad and to the place you've come to call home. The hustle and bustle of finals, good-bye parties, and packing can intensify your feelings of sadness and frustration. You already miss the friends you've made, and you are reluctant to leave. Or, you may make your last few days fly by so fast that you don't have time to reflect on your emotions and experiences.

Stage 2 usually begins shortly before departure, and it is characterized by feelings of excitement and anticipation - even euphoria - about returning home. This is very similar to the initial feelings of fascination and excitement you may have when you first entered your host country. You may be very happy to see your family and friends again, and they are also happy to see you. The length of this stage varies, and often ends with the realization that most people are not as interested in your experiences abroad as you had hoped. They will politely listen to your stories for a while, but you may find that soon they are ready to move on to the next topic of conversation.

This is often one of the transitions to Stage 3. You may experience feelings of frustration, anger, alienation, loneliness, disorientation, and helplessness and not understand exactly why. You might quickly become irritated or critical of others and of U.S. culture. Depression, feeling like a stranger at home, and the longing to go back abroad are also not uncommon reactions. You may also feel less independent than you were while abroad.

Most people are then able to move onto Stage 4, which is a gradual readjustment to life at home. Things will start to seem a little more normal again, and you will probably fall back into some old routines, but things won't be exactly the same as how you left them. You have most likely developed new attitudes, beliefs, habits, as well as personal and professional goals, and you will see things differently now. The important thing is to try to incorporate the positive aspects of your international experience while abroad with the positive aspects of your life at home in the United States.

Obviously this process is different for everyone and not all steps will apply to each individual, but in googling reverse culture shock I came across a comment from a girl that I completely identify with...

"Reverse culture shock sucks. It's so hard to sum up an entire semester abroad in a conversation let alone as an answer to 'so what exactly did you while you were in Argentina?'"

I also enjoyed some sarcastic advice from: http://www.women-on-the-road.com/reverse-culture-shock.html

"Fill your backpack. Carry it around with you every day, even to work. Then lock it to your desk and look back furtively each time you take a few steps away."

So in a month if you see me with my backpack or struggling to find the right word in English, you'll know why :-)